When it comes to hobbies, my Wife and I are polar opposites, so far apart that we may as well live on different planets. She has her garden and cooking; I have my love of high tech. Were I to put a hard drive and a processor on a table, she would be hard pressed to tell me which was which. Then again, I couldn’t select between a daisy and a daylily if my life depended on it.

This difference makes it almost impossible for us to exchange gifts at Christmas. Oh, small, meaningless ones are easy, those are just social niceties wrapped in paper, but when it comes to major gifts, neither of us has a clue what the other would truly appreciate. Yes, we exchange lists, but how do you surprise someone when you don’t even understand what the important features are? I mean, are we in zone 8 or 9, and does it really make a difference?

I have learned the hard way that giving her the things I would really appreciate, a bigger hard drive, a memory upgrade, a quad density monitor, barely tip the “gee thanks” scale. Likewise, when I dip my toe into the swampy murk of gardening supplies, I run the risk of the dreaded, “it’s okay, you tried” response. Definitely not what I’m trying for.

This is unacceptable. I’m an intelligent, highly trained engineer. I solve problems for a living, yet I am routinely defeated by seed catalogs and pruning tools. Unfortunately for my Wife, I also have a warped sense of humor. Just consider the garden gnomes that keep popping up in her garden. By now, she has a thriving colony. I’m not saying they’re plotting against her, but I think they’re trying to organize a union.

My engineering desire for optimal results tells me a gift certificate is the best option. Rational. Efficient. Foolproof. Likewise, I just can’t bring myself to hand her a gift certificate; that would be too easy, and frankly, it feels like surrender. Engineers do not surrender. We’re wired to solve problems.

I can’t claim that I had all the details when I started. In years past, I’ve printed gift packages, puzzle boxes, and maze puzzles that had to be solved before you could open them. These were generally received with a mix of amusement and quiet concern about my mental health. I needed something different.

I had already been working with my laser engraver, so that was definitely a candidate. My 3D printer is always available for a project, sometimes too available, and I just needed a hook. Something she would never expect.

Nine very cute bunnies for a gardening squad, a laser-engraved board announcing them, a white panel of Plexiglas to act as a message board, and a marker. Care to guess where the gift certificate was? While writing this, I realized I could have hollowed out the area behind the Plexiglas and mounted it with magnets, a hidden compartment, if you will. This realization came, of course, after the gift was finished. Hindsight is often one of the most powerful tool in any engineer’s toolbox.

Being slightly less innovative, I chose to print the marker and put a very tightly rolled gift certificate inside the dummy marker. I also used a real marker to write a message on the whiteboard, a touch of misdirection to make her think the marker was real.

I won’t pretend it took her a long time to discover it; she’s been married to me for too long not to suspect something. It was entertaining to watch her examine each rabbit and the whiteboard with growing suspicion. The jig was up as soon as she took the marker out of its holder.

I can’t complain. She will enjoy the gift certificate when spring rolls around, and she liked the whiteboard enough to hang her gardening squad, updated with a real marker, in her garden shed. It was a bonus to me that I was able to utilize my laser and 3D printer in making a Christmas present for her, not to mention the entertainment of watching her try to determine its secrets.

This year, I received an Arduino R4 from my Wife. She has no idea what it is or what it does; she only knows it was on my list. On the other hand, I do know. I’m thinking Christmas of 2026 will bring her an outdoor gift, solar powered, automated and commanded through Wi-Fi. The ideas are already churning. Maybe I should consult the gnomes. They may have use for an outdoor bulletin board.

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And of course, today’s song from Songer… Nuts & Bolts of Cheer but first I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2026. Thank you for reading my blog!

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