Today is that most feared of all days, Valentine’s Day. You don’t fear Valentine’s Day? That can only mean you’re not an engineer or you’re not married to an engineer. Still not understanding?
As an engineer, I automatically analyze all aspects of my life. When it comes to romance, I don’t have a clue. I have to use a formula; frequently tell my wife I love her, let her know that she completes a part of my life and make sure she helps me. I’m still not sure why that works but I know the perils of neglecting to do any of those.
Then you throw in Valentine’s Day. I know it’s an artificial holiday but I’m already following the formula. Is Valentine’s Day for all those poor husbands that aren’t following the formula? Is for all those overachiever’s that make the rest of us feel bad? Is it simply for the sake of withdrawing money from my wallet?
Let’s consider my traditional options. I can buy my wife flowers. Five days later the flowers are dead and my wife starts hinting that if I really loved her, I would buy her flowers more often. That’s a dangerous road my friends, that’s why she got a greenhouse.
I could buy my wife chocolate. This is also a no win situation. “Are you trying to make me fat? I don’t like that brand, type, selection or flavor.” Now, my wife has great will power but sooner or later her chocolate runs out and I hear, “if you really loved me you’d buy me chocolate more often.” What was the point of Valentine’s Day?
Diamonds, a woman’s best friend. You’re telling me that I’m paying a small fortune for a tightly price controlled artifact. Mention the price controls and you will be told about the beauty of the cut and how rare a flawless gem is. I admit I fell for that a few times. Where are your diamonds dear? “What wear them now, I might lose them. You should take me out to someplace nice where I can wear them.” Now I’m out more time and money to show off the gift. It’s an ugly death spiral.
Dinner, I can take her to a nice place for dinner. That way she can wear the earrings I bought her several years ago. You already know the dialog. If I get find a place we both like and, I admit it, remember to make the reservations, once again I get to hear, “This is nice dear. You should take me out more often.”
As near as I can tell Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for her to remind me of all the things I’m not doing.
This year I’m trying a new page in the book. I’ve reviewed the techniques that I’ve learned while writing this blog and I’m utilizing some of the most successful elements.
My elements? I’m starting with small animals. They have an innate cuteness about them and presented properly even rats can be considered cute. Next, use constant repeating reminders. Every time she sees the small animal, it needs to serve as a reminder telling her I love her. It needs to be eye catching, bright, brilliant and bold but not in your face bold. Finally I need a hook. How do I create a link in her mind that this serves as a reminder of my love for her? Easy, I’ll use this post as a vehicle for that thought.
Pulling all the elements together, here’s my Valentine’s Day gift to her.
A bird feeder? This is the beta version, it’s still missing several of the elements. Put some feed in the feeder and it becomes swarmed by Cardinals, small, flashy, bold and self-perpetuating. Now to add the symbolic link.
Dear, I want you to think of these cardinals as my flying valentines to you. May they always serve to remind you of my love!
35 lbs of bird seed in a week? It’s a good thing I really love my wife. Happy Valentine’s Day dear.
© Copyright 2014 Byron Seastrunk, All rights Reserved. Written For: Opinion by pen