I’m not going to ask why you’re here. We’ve all thought about it. The jerk cutting you off on the freeway, the traffic jam you were stuck in because you were cut off or maybe it’s just the people you have to work with. You know, the ones demanding you honor their expired coupons or screaming at you because your store ran out of their favorite cup size.  That’s when you thought there were just too many people and wanted to do something about it. Maybe you thought about grabbing an assault rifle or a howitzer for even more carnage. We certainly have the technology but then there’s the police, prison sentences and the off chance your victims might fight back.

Suppose I told you there was a much easier way, one with zero risk of imprisonment. Even better, I’m not talking about one or two people. You can easily exceed the body count of some of the most successful serial killers in history. It’s incredibly simple.

All you have to do is create a rumor about vaccinations. Make up some story about sterilization, tracking, or mutations. Your story doesn’t have to make sense, you’re only aiming for the gullible ones. The people we’re all better off without. You can even make up several stories. The beauty of this is that every person you convince becomes an agent for you. Sure, not everyone will die but consider the chaos and havoc you will bring to their lives.

Make sure you get vaccinated yourself. No point in taking chances and we need the smart people to continue running the world. We only want to get rid of the gullible people.

Think of it, so much death and carnage. All because of you. It’s unfortunate you won’t get credit for the body count, but the most successful serial killers seldom get the credit they deserve.

It’s true that Omicron has made it more difficult to ensure a kill, but it spreads faster. The ones that survive become spokesmen for you. “It’s not that bad” or “I wasn’t vaccinated and I didn’t have to go to the hospital,” you’ve heard it before. These people are actually working for you to increase your kill count and you don’t even have to associate with them.

This is your chance to make a difference, don’t fumble it. How about getting vaccinated modifies your color receptor genes, causing all your offspring to be born color blind?

It should be obvious that the above was written in jest. Then again, my lawnmower has a court ordered hazard sticker telling me not to stick my hands into the moving blades. It’s no jest that some people are deliberately spreading rumors with intent of malice. It’s certainly not funny that people have died as a result of these lies. And don’t think for a second that some of their lies aren’t targeting specific groups. The people spreading  these lies are some of the lowest scum of the earth, having no motive other than causing misery. Mass shooters aren’t even close to the evil these people have perpetrated on us.

I’m not telling you to get vaccinated, that’s a personal issue. I believe that vaccinations are the only way we get out of this pandemic but since it took me a long time to accept that wearing a seat belt was for my own good, I’m not in a position to judge how you choose to protect yourself. One caveat, if you’re a subscriber, I truly hope you are vaccinated. I don’t have enough subscribers that I can afford to lose any of you.

© 2022, Byron Seastrunk. All rights reserved.